Hi my name is rudy valentine and i will like to know how it feels to be gay?

i live in miramar in florida with my parents who also don't like me cuz im gay, but im proud no matter what u say.the school i go to is master prep academy. i love everybody i am gay. i want to feel more gay. i am fat and alone and i think i will not have again. i use to have a boyfriend named jose but he dump me. i hate people who call me gay.